What of the ordinary, everyday love? Does it have a place in the Hallmark-tainted landscape of Valentine’s Day?
If you are like me, you can spend literally hours pouring over glossy, glitter embossed cards that drip with romantic musings and passionate declarations that seem overdone and impractically over the top. Truth is, this is a holiday that seems to be more for the young and newly minted kind of love, that “first three months of can’t get enough of each other” kind of love.
I get it though…that kind of love is sexy and passionate, all red and pulsing with promise. That kind of love moves some serious chocolate. That kind of love fuels lingerie sales and fancy, overpriced plated dinners.
Still…every day, 365 days of the year, all over the world, there are people quiet living in other kinds of love that don’t get the attention worthy of a glitzy holiday. Where are the cards that represent the kind of love that settles in after years spent together, after raising children? The kind of love that binds partners and knits families together to weather all that life asks us to bear? I need cards that celebrate the everyday, mundane things that show me I am loved and appreciated. I need words that express my devotion despite disappointment and my simple joy in sharing life with someone that I love and, frankly, that I tolerate above any other human being on the planet. I need a Hallmark card that says, “Yup I would absolutely still choose you, choose this messy beautiful life with you, over and over again.”
Admittedly, that does not sound romantic. It would not make most people swoon. It would not fill even one red and pink stained aisle at Target. But, that is the truth. It is sincere and it is heartfelt. It is practical and it is sustainable. It is the lifeblood of any solid marriage or long term relationship and the foundation for any family that endures.
I would love to have spontaneity and passion all the time, but I am also blissfully happy to find out someone else has changed the toilet paper roll or done the dishes to surprise me. I would enjoy date nights out under the stars but I also crave those quiet nights by the fire, when we are all tangled together under blankets watching a movie. Sometimes it is the moments when he randomly laces his fingers through mine while we are driving, or takes a few more minutes to cover me with the comforter before he leaves for work that move me so much more deeply than those heated moments of our youth. I love that he loves me when things are good, and loves me harder and more fiercely when they are not. It may not make for a flashy card but it a blessing I am thankful for each and every day.